Just being

Well well, what a turn! Things are mellowing out and now I'm having to get used to particulars in my life going well!

For once things aren't going bad, really bad, for me. Which is nice! It does take some getting used to.

I've been working earlies this week, 7am-3pm. It's been so cold I haven't bothered walking in and have taken the bus instead. I call it my thinking time (as If I dont' do enough thinking already)... perhaps it's the momentum, there's just something different about travelling by transport which gets your mind going, perhaps in a more refreshed way.

I also took a walk from Bank to Waterloo to journey for a blood test at St Thomas' hospital. The nurse had trouble getting the needle in, my veins weren't showing up and she poked me in the most different place on my arm where I have had a blood test before. It hurt, but I quite enjoyed staring at the needle with blood liquor pouring out.

Saturday will start with an awesome breakfast, probably black cafetiere coffee and pastries bought from Sainsburys-a tradition I have kept going for most of a year now. One or two? I'm not so sure how much I should eat, but I know how much I'd like to eat! £1.20 deals for two makes it all the more interesting for my taste buds! Later, I shall make my way to the fourth week of my creative writing course; I really can't wait for it this week, I feel quite settled with it now and already my mind is being opened to a new way of thinking towards words.

Sunday, lunch with Hazal, in a pub. Awesome yum. And then pack pack pack clean!!! for the big flat move on Monday. I CANNOT WAIT!

Getting back to my momentumous journey, I've been thinking about me as a teenager. A miserable curtain, a girl who became fairly shut off from most around her. I gave off the impression that I was better than everyone else, I used to get called a snob where my speech was filled with desires that I had things better than others. Words said just to piss people off, judgement for a reaction just so I'd feel better about myself. Silly scared girl. All we really should have been doing was to be friends. I ended up keeping myself to myself so much and closing everyone off around me, and who ended up loosing out the most.

Only me. 

It's perhaps why I find it amazing when people seem to like me these days, I think why would anyone be interested!? 

So we learn from past behaviour and learn how to behave now. I'm very grateful for the people I have in my life now, things seemed to change when I went to uni. Whether it was because of the mix of people, or people because I saw the mix of people and for once didn't feel the outsider. Things just started to click and even now all seems to just keep getting better. It's so nice and I am super dooper grateful.

What i'm watching right now

Some of the great medical shows I am watching:

Confessions of a nurse. It really gives you an idea of what nurses go through, I love the extra voice over commentary each nurse provides in a non 'God like' way. It makes the show more human, watch it and find out!

Junior Doctors: Your life in their hands. I think this show is awesome because I'm watching people my own age work in a hospital. Biology has always been an interest to me since I was a kid. My mum and Dad used to let me sneak out of my room around 8pm when my brother was asleep, just so I could go downstairs and watch Casualty! I used to want to be a doctor, a nurse and a psychologist as mental pain can be 'worse than physical' as I used to say. My list also varied from being a magazine writer (used to pretend with some girly friends we were making a magazine in my bedroom, I think my mate Kelli used to be the Editor but she wanted to name herself Adele!), to a barmaid and a vet. I'm sure most kids change their minds about occupation, i'm still very pessimistic about schools and the system of applying for GCSE's and Universities-how can anyone make that decision at such a young age and know what they want to do! This post has turned into a rant now; I just think that when applying for Uni, we should be able to write several personal statements instead of just one for different degree courses we wish to apply for.

And one I have just found which I think I should watch, perhaps for closure and to induce crying which I seem to fail at! Family series about a lady diagnosed with terminal cancer. Happy times!!

I also watch New girl for a bit of escapist comedy, most people over the country are watching. It's ok. Character development has been weak until last week and I still think it's missing a certain POW which most American comedy series' have. I'm hoping to be surprised still, though the stupidity of jess in her cute natural div way-i'm sure most girls can relate to this.

My Friday evening is going to be packed up! I can't wait to walk home from work, get rid of the work clothes and chuck on some sweats, tuck them into my socks and snuggle down to an afternoon of television. All for free on the genious Iplayer and 4OD.

Kapow! Things are goooood :)