Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
H.A.P.P.Y
So happy when people I know who usually aren't in London, are in London, and we meet up for din dins and chat and laugh and go mmmmmmmmm and have nice food babies and then go home and feel very very lucky and wow and yay.
That is all.
I love London.
That is all.
I love London.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Some words I wrote today
I'd rather say:
"I’d take a taxi across town to see you for even just a minute. I'd wait outside all night even if I didn't know you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you. For me, imagination and desire are very close. But there is also reality..."
I'm willing to take that chance.
"I’d take a taxi across town to see you for even just a minute. I'd wait outside all night even if I didn't know you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you. For me, imagination and desire are very close. But there is also reality..."
I'm willing to take that chance.
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Hands up, barriers down
Hi my name is Hollie and I argue or 'discuss' so eventually I feel right, even though I am not right and I am merely not listening to what people are telling me.
Facing facts. We aren't all innocent. Div.
"Why do you always have to be right?!..."
"I'm not I'm just explaining myself and how I feel..."
Facing facts. We aren't all innocent. Div.
"Why do you always have to be right?!..."
"I'm not I'm just explaining myself and how I feel..."
I have been so blind. I'm sorry.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
relationships, involvements, commitments?
I can see why people are too scared to marry, I can see why people are ready to move in, I can see why people cheat, I can see why dating others is nice too. What is the worth of dating one and not entirely thinking of the future together, compared to taking every day as it comes-I'm not sure which one is healthier. I'd like to believe life as enjoying the time together, and making the most of everyday...
What I don't know is whether love is so blind that everyone else becomes invisible. Whether coming home to one person is the way to suit all. I mean, how do we work out what we want unless trying different relationship lifestyles? I have always found that once a part of your life is gone, you realise how much you liked it when it was there.
If someone is right for you, how do you know... Is it when every other attractive person out there is blind to our eyes? I can't fault those who recognise those who are interesting... those who personalities we admire and have a soft spot for. Yet how much of feeling attracted to other people is a sign that other needs are not being met?
I wonder, how much of a primal instinct still exists within humans to live in a society where different relationships can exist... If we let them? I'm just not sure what instinct to go with, after all humans also have to deal with jealous notions too. The monogamous kind-surely there is no way of putting it?... But when someone else you are attracted to comes along and you want to get to know them as well, what does that mean for the relationship you are involved with. Is the current person less than or the same? Or is the new love interest going to give you something which perhaps, whether consciously or subconsciously, your current involement isn't providing.
Can we really live by the ideology; some people give us one thing, and some give us another-to justify our instincts of non-monogamous involvement? After all, we have been brought up to live by 'the fittest leads to survival'...If one person provides all needs, is there a reason to look elsewhere?
Conversely, is dating several a better way of balancing those horrible break ups when you realise one or several people just aren't right for you-whether you don't meet their needs or they don't meet yours?
As we all began, with simpler needs, I wonder whether there was time for humans when less emotion was involved. It must be now that jealousy is a factor this is why if one cheats we react so badly to it-why do we feel like less if someone is interested in someone else too? I think there are healthier ways of dealing with non-monogamy, after all if all is in the open and all parties involved are ok with non-monogamy-what can go wrong?
The other side is, time management, as I like to call it. Can you truly rely on someone you love to be there for you, bearing in mind that particular night or day you really need them, he or she could be spending their time with someone else? Does their decision to split time make you feel less, or should you be happy for them regardless? For me that becomes an issue in non-monogamous relationships; if there were less parties involved, there would be more time for those you truly care for. If the love was that strong for one how could you possibly think of others-for me love is too overwhelming to even fit anybody else in my head!
If that time is not met though how much reflection can it be of less love? A busy lifestyle? You can't always run and save the lives of two or several people, but then no-one can expect you to choose. Do you sacrifice self happiness or see if there is an alternative way? People say if someone really loves you then nothing else matters, but then how can that work if more people are involved, with the involvement... You can't be two people at once.
Surely someone is always going to loose out, if choosing over love is the decision maker? Wouldn't you just have to walk away?...
Perhaps we could say perspective over time may change things, peoples decisions and peoples actions within their gut instinct in knowing what is right-for them and those they love. In this case, it isn't a case of winning, it is a pure, simple unconditional way of just knowing. If your life isn't as good without someone you care for, have the right actions and decisions been made? It is all something only we know can just be, if you can survive a life less happy then before-or moving onto another new-I think it will all happen in good time. It is our choice and our decision to make a difference and to make that change. Somehow that change will come, whether we like it or not.
What I don't know is whether love is so blind that everyone else becomes invisible. Whether coming home to one person is the way to suit all. I mean, how do we work out what we want unless trying different relationship lifestyles? I have always found that once a part of your life is gone, you realise how much you liked it when it was there.
If someone is right for you, how do you know... Is it when every other attractive person out there is blind to our eyes? I can't fault those who recognise those who are interesting... those who personalities we admire and have a soft spot for. Yet how much of feeling attracted to other people is a sign that other needs are not being met?
I wonder, how much of a primal instinct still exists within humans to live in a society where different relationships can exist... If we let them? I'm just not sure what instinct to go with, after all humans also have to deal with jealous notions too. The monogamous kind-surely there is no way of putting it?... But when someone else you are attracted to comes along and you want to get to know them as well, what does that mean for the relationship you are involved with. Is the current person less than or the same? Or is the new love interest going to give you something which perhaps, whether consciously or subconsciously, your current involement isn't providing.
Can we really live by the ideology; some people give us one thing, and some give us another-to justify our instincts of non-monogamous involvement? After all, we have been brought up to live by 'the fittest leads to survival'...If one person provides all needs, is there a reason to look elsewhere?
Conversely, is dating several a better way of balancing those horrible break ups when you realise one or several people just aren't right for you-whether you don't meet their needs or they don't meet yours?
As we all began, with simpler needs, I wonder whether there was time for humans when less emotion was involved. It must be now that jealousy is a factor this is why if one cheats we react so badly to it-why do we feel like less if someone is interested in someone else too? I think there are healthier ways of dealing with non-monogamy, after all if all is in the open and all parties involved are ok with non-monogamy-what can go wrong?
The other side is, time management, as I like to call it. Can you truly rely on someone you love to be there for you, bearing in mind that particular night or day you really need them, he or she could be spending their time with someone else? Does their decision to split time make you feel less, or should you be happy for them regardless? For me that becomes an issue in non-monogamous relationships; if there were less parties involved, there would be more time for those you truly care for. If the love was that strong for one how could you possibly think of others-for me love is too overwhelming to even fit anybody else in my head!
If that time is not met though how much reflection can it be of less love? A busy lifestyle? You can't always run and save the lives of two or several people, but then no-one can expect you to choose. Do you sacrifice self happiness or see if there is an alternative way? People say if someone really loves you then nothing else matters, but then how can that work if more people are involved, with the involvement... You can't be two people at once.
Surely someone is always going to loose out, if choosing over love is the decision maker? Wouldn't you just have to walk away?...
Perhaps we could say perspective over time may change things, peoples decisions and peoples actions within their gut instinct in knowing what is right-for them and those they love. In this case, it isn't a case of winning, it is a pure, simple unconditional way of just knowing. If your life isn't as good without someone you care for, have the right actions and decisions been made? It is all something only we know can just be, if you can survive a life less happy then before-or moving onto another new-I think it will all happen in good time. It is our choice and our decision to make a difference and to make that change. Somehow that change will come, whether we like it or not.
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Do break ups remind us of who we really are?
In reflection over time, I wonder when relationships come to an end, how any individual feels after. I mean, we look back over what was and what is...
As a result of a break up, do they remind us all of who we really are? Perhaps the anticipation before a break up is our minds wondering who we are, who we really are without the other person-do we like ourselves just as self, without the other person? I hope relationships aren't just a cover of our insecurities, but willing to love. When someone we are involved with helps us so closely with particular issues, is it common for self to feel stronger once that support has gone-when you have chosen for it to go? People can't all become drugs. Who knows if that relationship was more so about a self development process instead of pure love. Just love. Were those two people taking a journey together ever OK with themselves?
In taking a step back and looking at just 'us', just one person for once and seeing clearly who we are too. The naked truth, our bare personalities only there in front of the mirror for one to judge. Us. Yourself. If we don't like ourselves, who will? So in ending a relationship, how much of that decision also connects to re-establishing ourselves and knowing we are OK with self too?
I hear many stories in feeling lonely after or feeling like one can finally do what they want to do. So why did they ever stay? Amongst all the good times shared with someone else, parallel to the insecurities reflected by both individuals-how much of that is truth, was the relationship a false being?
If life is all about growing, knowing and learning as well- I'm sure there is never a point in which we know we will be OK (and comfortable with self), as there will be forever change and new challenges before us. New insecurities are always possible. If ending a relationship gives us more self confidence and less fear whilst connecting with someone else-I hope this doesn't taint all future establishments. Relationships can't be all about holding you here for one moment, and not the next when it all gets too scary in loosing who you are, in forgetting who you are too-surely that's going to be a constant variable, inevitable until those insecurities change, whether they lessen or are dealt with. Otherwise, we are all doomed. If you are going to be there, you have to be there. No question.
People are drugs. But it is when you know you truly miss them, for them, their character, their waves, when you know it is love. Truth love. That is no drug, just a pure natural feeling. Break ups or breaks from people in general shouldn't be a test, hopefully we all would just know...
As a result of a break up, do they remind us all of who we really are? Perhaps the anticipation before a break up is our minds wondering who we are, who we really are without the other person-do we like ourselves just as self, without the other person? I hope relationships aren't just a cover of our insecurities, but willing to love. When someone we are involved with helps us so closely with particular issues, is it common for self to feel stronger once that support has gone-when you have chosen for it to go? People can't all become drugs. Who knows if that relationship was more so about a self development process instead of pure love. Just love. Were those two people taking a journey together ever OK with themselves?
In taking a step back and looking at just 'us', just one person for once and seeing clearly who we are too. The naked truth, our bare personalities only there in front of the mirror for one to judge. Us. Yourself. If we don't like ourselves, who will? So in ending a relationship, how much of that decision also connects to re-establishing ourselves and knowing we are OK with self too?
I hear many stories in feeling lonely after or feeling like one can finally do what they want to do. So why did they ever stay? Amongst all the good times shared with someone else, parallel to the insecurities reflected by both individuals-how much of that is truth, was the relationship a false being?
If life is all about growing, knowing and learning as well- I'm sure there is never a point in which we know we will be OK (and comfortable with self), as there will be forever change and new challenges before us. New insecurities are always possible. If ending a relationship gives us more self confidence and less fear whilst connecting with someone else-I hope this doesn't taint all future establishments. Relationships can't be all about holding you here for one moment, and not the next when it all gets too scary in loosing who you are, in forgetting who you are too-surely that's going to be a constant variable, inevitable until those insecurities change, whether they lessen or are dealt with. Otherwise, we are all doomed. If you are going to be there, you have to be there. No question.
People are drugs. But it is when you know you truly miss them, for them, their character, their waves, when you know it is love. Truth love. That is no drug, just a pure natural feeling. Break ups or breaks from people in general shouldn't be a test, hopefully we all would just know...
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