I can see why people are too scared to marry, I can see why people are ready to move in, I can see why people cheat, I can see why dating others is nice too. What is the worth of dating one and not entirely thinking of the future together, compared to taking every day as it comes-I'm not sure which one is healthier. I'd like to believe life as enjoying the time together, and making the most of everyday...
What I don't know is whether love is so blind that everyone else becomes invisible. Whether coming home to one person is the way to suit all. I mean, how do we work out what we want unless trying different relationship lifestyles? I have always found that once a part of your life is gone, you realise how much you liked it when it was there.
If someone is right for you, how do you know... Is it when every other attractive person out there is blind to our eyes? I can't fault those who recognise those who are interesting... those who personalities we admire and have a soft spot for. Yet how much of feeling attracted to other people is a sign that other needs are not being met?
I wonder, how much of a primal instinct still exists within humans to live in a society where different relationships can exist... If we let them? I'm just not sure what instinct to go with, after all humans also have to deal with jealous notions too. The monogamous kind-surely there is no way of putting it?... But when someone else you are attracted to comes along and you want to get to know them as well, what does that mean for the relationship you are involved with. Is the current person less than or the same? Or is the new love interest going to give you something which perhaps, whether consciously or subconsciously, your current involement isn't providing.
Can we really live by the ideology; some people give us one thing, and some give us another-to justify our instincts of non-monogamous involvement? After all, we have been brought up to live by 'the fittest leads to survival'...If one person provides all needs, is there a reason to look elsewhere?
Conversely, is dating several a better way of balancing those horrible break ups when you realise one or several people just aren't right for you-whether you don't meet their needs or they don't meet yours?
As we all began, with simpler needs, I wonder whether there was time for humans when less emotion was involved. It must be now that jealousy is a factor this is why if one cheats we react so badly to it-why do we feel like less if someone is interested in someone else too? I think there are healthier ways of dealing with non-monogamy, after all if all is in the open and all parties involved are ok with non-monogamy-what can go wrong?
The other side is, time management, as I like to call it. Can you truly rely on someone you love to be there for you, bearing in mind that particular night or day you really need them, he or she could be spending their time with someone else? Does their decision to split time make you feel less, or should you be happy for them regardless? For me that becomes an issue in non-monogamous relationships; if there were less parties involved, there would be more time for those you truly care for. If the love was that strong for one how could you possibly think of others-for me love is too overwhelming to even fit anybody else in my head!
If that time is not met though how much reflection can it be of less love? A busy lifestyle? You can't always run and save the lives of two or several people, but then no-one can expect you to choose. Do you sacrifice self happiness or see if there is an alternative way? People say if someone really loves you then nothing else matters, but then how can that work if more people are involved, with the involvement... You can't be two people at once.
Surely someone is always going to loose out, if choosing over love is the decision maker? Wouldn't you just have to walk away?...
Perhaps we could say perspective over time may change things, peoples decisions and peoples actions within their gut instinct in knowing what is right-for them and those they love. In this case, it isn't a case of winning, it is a pure, simple unconditional way of just knowing. If your life isn't as good without someone you care for, have the right actions and decisions been made? It is all something only we know can just be, if you can survive a life less happy then before-or moving onto another new-I think it will all happen in good time. It is our choice and our decision to make a difference and to make that change. Somehow that change will come, whether we like it or not.
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