Very indifferent

And it's very weird. Almost like I am in a box only bothered by physical movement and being told they can't read me.

It's like I can't even shout. My sounds only whispers alongside a head throb and glaring eyes. Even silence is nice music. I miss you. Amongst the weird I could write where as now there is hover.

Can I bash it out? What is there now? My riddle has come back and spiral has stopped which has never happened before. Ever. I think I need a day to sit. To just sit and stare at my walls and write and listen to sounds so beautiful they feel like finger tips on piano keys, lightly soothing my head. Walks where footsteps feel like pretty patterns mind and feet.

I can see why people put themselves in writing boxes, trapped in a valley with air for comfort. I don't even make sense either. An aura I have been told, but all I see is the red of my lipstick and doe eyes with question marks, or at least a pause button. I like that he doesn't understand me.

There is still a missing. and that missing is you.

What I felt two months ago seems to have been placed in my box, compartmentalised where the frames are shadows so grey I can't see in to even remember. Lets hope I don't create a mine field in order to find out.

I think I need to explore you now. Thank goodness dancing is the same.

45 minutes before I have to go, I wish those minutes were longer. Make a plan make a plan make a plan. I ate too much to find flavour but really the flavour got me, there is too much choice and that makes it the hardest for I like to go out and seek. Is what I seek solitude or souls?

I think I'm calling out for you. You, not him. Yes you, the forbidden. Because you understand the journey too. Asshole.

"Tonight we going hard. just like the world is ours. we're tearing it apart. you know we're superstars, we are who we are. We dancing like we dumb. Our bodies going numb. We'll be forever young. You know we're superstars we are who we are"

You think you're confused! I am very confusing. What does she have, that I don't? It's not even between two now, is it?

I'm different now and that world will never be discovered again, that acid taste balloon eyes and tingly spine. I need to know more.

I need to go out. "we found love in a hopeless place". Because one nice moment keeps you coming back for more. And I think I may break him. I still need to make my own colour, because essentially I lost two best friends last year.