Breakfast at 10.
Music, shower 1pm
Food by 1.30pm
Bus by 2pm.
Hello Waterloo.
Usually when I walk, I like to blast everything out with music and headphones- a casual escape from certain things in the world. This time I decided to challenge myself, and walk naked. My ears were naked, no music!!!
London is loud, too loud for me right now so perhaps that's why music always seemed the best option. Or may be I just like to block out everyone else's rubbish as well.
The walk along Southbank was good. I've decided I hate children. Ok, perhaps hate is too stronger word because I'm sure they are all fabulous (I've been watching too much Sex and The City)... But when they keep cheeping and tweeting and try role reversal with their parents-I find it all a bit too much.
'smile and wave smile and wave Hollie...shut up you stupid kid...'
I'm just not ready to be around children yet.
Right now, i'm sat in a Starbucks in Southwark.. and I'm dreading to go home. I will be going home to blank. Do I keep myself busy, or set myself a task? I know the biggest one is sorting photographs, though with tiredness creeping in I feel perhaps I could quite happily just lay down and snooze all night. Perhaps I'm missing some sort of conversation, after all there is only so much you can say to yourself. I think I am in need of a self spark. Could sleep bring in the answers?
The Tate was interesting. Busy then I had seen it before, but more artworks which I think were bollox. Taryn Simon's pictures capturing the family portraits I thought were too craftily shot and framed with the characters eye level meeting the middle of the frame, all too crafted to make them look smaller- I did not like and remained unimpressed. I felt no sympathy. Perhaps I'm a cynic. Her doc photography did nothing for me, I think I was looking for more.
When I stumbled across Bridget Rileys piece it was like an eye fuck oddly pleasurable because the depth my brain had caused grew nice and possessed. I took a picture and blinked to rid my blur.
I'm sat here now after a Mango mix up drink wondering what I am going home for. My space? That sense of alone? I'm sure soon I will be bored with my own cynicism, or perhaps a boring self right now. Get over yourself... is just too easy to be said. We all have to figure things out.
I think i'm realising how much of a restless person I am!! Well, I always was, but when things feel like they are missing and only you can reassure yourself-perhaps the goal of the chase feels longer and further away than ever before.
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