The adventure is back

The adventure is back. There has been some awkward moments...ok some very frustrating moments some which seemed impossible to break through. Though, that's just it about adventure, the next one is all the more grand if the one before be gritty. The words let go have never seemed so relevant before.

The thing is, we can only teach ourselves, we have to let the lessons in to learn. I think I've learnt a lot about myself and my behaviour, and my behaviour now (even behaviour over 7 years ago!). I know I can't change anything, and my frustrations and angst in trying have been wiped away because, it just isn't down to me to make that change. It is down to them. Only, we have ourselves. We make everything what it is, like when two people look at the same object yet have completely opposite feelings about the same thing. We can only do our best, I'm not going to beat myself up anymore with wishful thinking. Some things are just out of your hands and I think the more time you spend thinking about them less, certain particulars fall into place.

We have our guards, we all do. Our guards are that we think too much, nothing is what it is unless we have our emotions attached to them. So, taking a step back is healthy. The objective can help. The advise we give to others is probably the advice we should give ourselves, it's always easier to say to someone else how to be because our emotions aren't all that attached to their problems. We learn from the learned; experience, and failings over time. Even if those failings are the same mistakes repeated. We will get back up again.

Some of my frustrations have turned into something else, I've finally accepted I can't wait for that day anymore. For change, or even a sign. We fall sick into a pattern of knowing only us and being blind by what else is out there too. In a surprising way, my loss has put things straight and it is so nice to feel quite level again. We all spin plates though we choose which direction they will turn, how many plates we carry though will always be the variable. I'm going to stop looking for answers because I finally have them, less false hope and being proved right again. In some cases, being proven wrong is nice, but we can't argue against our gut instincts. Sometimes, we just know, yet it will take that little bit longer to learn.