A song for Pow Wow

'Sophie has just informed me that she likes you the most as you have crazy hair'

Thank you Dan. These are the words from my 'bruva' from another mutha's, sister, (approx 9 years old)?!

That text made my day x

HELLO!

Hi all!

I know my last post claimed a new blog would be coming soon. How soon was 'coming soon'... It's been a while! Sorry to disappoint, I'm still working on the overall concept... which really means I need to sit down and concentrate long enough to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard on the apple notes app.

Within this time I've been 1. Having lots of lovely social times, 2. making excuses based on getting distracted 3. Putting less pressure on myself, I've finally come to a point where I CAN'T CARRY ON ANY LONGER and I MUST write.

I MISS BLOGGING SO MUCH!

I've let life distract me. I've used far too many excuses. I've had to process a lot of things this year and things are really really looking up!

Something to celebrate, I've been in my job for a year now and it feels soooooo good to have achieved that! Life as a student was painful and adventurous,  now I'm enjoying my independence much more than waiting for that part-time label to go. I love working, I love work, I love the balance of weekends and weekdays (though Queeny could introduce a few more longer weekends :P )

Over all things are good and I must use this energy for writing! I'm sure my cynic is still within, though there are methods to use for this to appeal... wimsical...

I just wanted to say Hi, there are a few more 'a bit hinesy' moments which cannot be wasted away from the fantastic world of blogging. Perhaps I just have too much to say... and lately I've been feeling more like a Giraffe...

I can't wait for a re-design any longer. Words have to begin NOW!

'Silent' reflection

'Sister Elizabeth Pio, 41, has begun using Twitter on behalf of the Sisters of Bethany, an Anglican order who spend hours each day in silent reflection.'

How is this silent reflection- she's tweeting and she's preaching?

I

Weird music video...apologies!

Someone knows too

There is a notable difference between being alone and being lonely that is too often overlooked in our fast-paced, well-connected, western world.

Tea whore

Today I am tired. Quite tired. That kind of tired when your neck and shoulders slump like a lanky teenager. And because I have a pretty healthy diet, sugar seems to effect me energy wise quicker than most. All that slow burning carbs stuff- bollox.

PB and J pitta- holla at my mouth.

Dentist in two weeks- I'm sure I'll need a filling...

ANYWAYS

New blog coming soon...

Borough Starbucks man 20-6-12

Hasn't been there for three days...

Niiiiiice

Agreed agreed agreed

Insomnia blurb

If you're curious.

Fat fetishes and anti cancer methods

I don't know what I'm more livid at, paranoid people suffering to be healthy, or developing a career out of obesity!...

I've been watching Channel four's 'My Big Fat Fetish', where woman gain weight on purpose to fulfill mans fantasy as well as their own body image preferences. I'm shocked, curious at how many stretch marks they have and also slightly in awe at how they appreciate their bodies just the way they are- something which most slim woman deprive themselves of daily.

I feel angry and confused when I hear their thoughts on their size. I think about all the articles I read on nutritional ways to be healthy, many of which are written by people who are avoiding cancer again or fighting cancer- that scary disease which seems to be the new aids or bird flu. How can so many people make positive life choices to avoid health scares when there are individuals out there throwing their health away for fried chicken?

The opposition,  are those seeking fat have a healthier mental health rate than those prioritising the right food choices, vitamins and exercise? I wonder who is less stressed and pressurised.

Little man

You tube have blocked the album versions. Either way spotify it and ENJOY!

Applicable to anywhere

Any city (town, countryside, middle of nowhere?!... e.t.c) can turn like this, lets generalise here.

'Those spots, your spots, the ones that you so willingly shared with that first person you loved in this city, are now poisoned.'

I do agree; that cafe spot, the tube station you would awkwardly wait at, the places you find amazing and show them for their first time, even those that you end up exploring together.

Or, maybe we should just treat them as places. 'Tis funny what our brain associates with the happy and sad. Personally, well if you focus on the good times you had from the places that cause the nostalgic twinge- surely the beauty now is passing on all of your delights to the other companions in your life.

Infatuation of learning something new

It's articles like this why I love love love Thought Catalog. Times like this, being now (why would you waste it?), get off your arse and go, do it, run around...

Here's a quote from one of my favourite films, Almost Famous:

'Who needs a "crowd?"  You're unique.  You're two years ahead of everybody.  Take those extra years and do what you want.  Go to Europe for a year!  Take a look around, see what you like!  Follow your dream! You'll still be the youngest lawyer in the country.  Your own great grandfather practiced law until he was 93. Your dad was so proud of you.  He knew you were a pronominally accelerated child.'

It's your adventure.

These words probably describe best where I am with mine right now. I wish I could should be writing like this:

'I think it’s why we love cities. Living in a town just big enough to be cripplingly small, I thought it would be impossible to be in one for more than five minutes without falling in love with something. And we do, for a moment. We fall in love with our strange new neighbors who make more noise as two people than your entire neighborhood did before, with the smell of cigarette smoke, with the way crusty bread feels when you tear it off at a new restaurant — all things that eventually slip into the grating or the prohibitively expensive but which are, for a few moments at a time, wonderfully infatuating.

And we see things in our cities that we hate, almost as many as we love. We keep a tally of all the ups and downs of being in this big new place, wait until the negatives spill over into every part of our life, and then we leave again. We get sucked into a lovely little daydream, standing in front of beautiful architecture and breathing in the smell of rich, warm food, where we feel that this is everything we were looking for. And then a group of obnoxious teenagers walk by, spitting and throwing their cigarettes on the ground. There is only so much a city can provide, and we can either keep moving from location to location, or we can find something new in ourselves to enjoy. A book, a hobby, a new group of friends in a brand-new bar.

We are constantly running, looking for the perfect combination of being alone and being together to make things always feel good. We might need to be in love to see things the way they’re meant to be seen, but not necessarily with a person — just as our city can’t save us, neither can being with someone simply to fill the silence. Sure, to fall in love with a person would be nice, but when you are actively searching for romantic love you’re almost destined not to find it. You can’t waste your time, your youth, your beautiful surroundings waiting for someone to validate it. I would be happy with just being in love with a good book, an opera, a philosophy I overheard in another conversation and turn around in my head until it settles like a fine dust over everything I believe.

It’s hard not to feel sometimes like you’re running around in circles, trying to distract yourself with a new partner or a trip to somewhere fresh and exciting, like you can’t ever stand still. I want the infatuation of learning something new, of discovering something about myself, the thrill of the small joys that don’t cost anything and don’t require anyone else’s presence. I want to be infatuated with myself, to feel like I am enough, and I so rarely do.

I want that falling feeling, that obsessive interest with all that’s around me, with all that I’m capable of. And most importantly, I want that infatuation to come from not where I’m standing, not from who I’m standing with, but from just how beautiful my life is on its own, from how wonderful it is to be alive, how much I am worth just by myself.'

If you like sambos...

Take a pick out of all of these!

A sandwich for every state.

The ice is breaking

"Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair. When it comes, it degrades one's self and ultimately eclipses the capacity to give or receive affection. It is the aloneness within us made manifest, and it destroys not only connection to others but also the ability to be peacefully alone with oneself.

Love, though it is no prophylactic against depression, is what cushions the mind and protects it from itself. Medications and psychotherapy can renew that protection, making it easier to love and be loved, and that is why they work. In good spirits, some love themselves and some love others and some love work and some love God: any of these passions can furnish that vital sense of purpose that is the opposite of depression. Love forsakes us from time to time, and we forsake love. In depression, the meaninglessness of every enterprise and every emotion, the meaninglessness of life itself, becomes self-evident. The only feeling left in this loveless state is insignificance," - Andrew Solomon.

Addictions and self control

The things we do to 'get back on track'...

Addictions form a paper-thin protective layer between you and the world around you. They enable you, however briefly, to cope, to feel normal, to just freaking deal the way everyone else around you manages to do without chemical or edible assistance. “It is the thing you believe is keeping you safe, alive, contained,” writes Hornbacher of her eating disorder. “And in the end of course, you find it is doing quite the opposite.” Never do I feel more paradoxically invincible than when I am demolishing the entire contents of my refrigerator (the Great Uncooked-Brownie-Batter-Pickles-and-Kidney-Beans binge of 2007 was particularly memorable) and washing it down with a bottle of Bacardi. The blackouts on the bathroom floor, the half-remembered ambulance rides, the shaking hands of a palsied eighty-year-old, the muscles crying out in anguish at years of abuse, the brain set loose upon itself in a devouring fit of madness — all these seem inconsequential, for in the moment the combined effects of solid and liquid courage (in a caged match, I could probably triumph over the Bacardi but not the brownie batter) seems your own personal Armor of Achilles: impenetrable. You are Okay. You are untouchable. You can almost hear the “Super Mario Brothers” invincibility-star theme song playing in your head as you rip up the back of your throat with your fingernails.

If you’re so Okay, then why are you crying?

I said in the moment. These are important words to the addict. All we know is the moment. All we operate in is the moment. Addiction can practically be defined as short-term satisfaction with long-term consequences. The idea that one can act opposite to one’s emotions is utterly foreign to the eating-disordered/alcoholic/addict brain. So on this, my second full day without purging or drinking, I have discovered that half the battle is conquering the moment. We — not just addicts, but people in general — are creatures of many and fickle emotions. The jeans that fit me perfectly well yesterday, even when I know damn well they fit me perfectly well yesterday, absolutely categorically do not fit me today because fat is oozing out of my every pore and oh my god I am beginning to bear a striking resemblance to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME AGAIN AND I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE WITH CATS LISTENING TO MY NEXT TO NORMAL SOUNDTRACK.

This is all probably not true. In fact, I will go out on a limb here and say it is almost definitely not true. The empirical evidence would suggest otherwise. I am (a) probably not going to die alone — people won’t even leave me the hell alone even when I want them to — and (b) am five-feet-seven-and-three-quarters-inches and 108 pounds, so probably do not markedly resemble the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the Pillsbury Doughboy, the Jolly Green Giant, or any other brand representative of legendarily mammoth (or green) proportions. I have in fact gained weight the last several weeks (up from 100), but I still have a BMI of 16-point-something (well below underweight), and on my trip to New York a week ago I zipped into a size 00 at the Gap with room to spare. (In other words, the smallest adult size they make for human people.) So from a rational standpoint, it’s not only an egregious overstatement to say I’ve gotten fat, it’s beyond f-cking absurd. I know that. I do. I KNOW that. I am smart and self-aware enough to recognize that after I eat 450 calories (my entire breakfast, including a Mountain Dew Amp, this morning), I feel sick as hell and am going to be pacing in a frenetic panic for the next several hours. But once those several hours have passed and I’ve digested and forgotten about (okay, not forgotten about — never forgotten about) the Greek yogurt or whatever the hell it was that was causing me such existential angst, I WILL BE OKAY.

I just can’t trust the workings of my own head in the moment, or operate on my own feelings. And when you’ve grown up heeding Polonius’s bullsh-t advice of “to thine own self be true”, what do you do when the one person you can’t trust is — yourself?

My kind of writing

I love thought catalog.

Sap.

Hi mum!

You smell, of poo! As I'd always say.

Wish you were here now, I could take you out for that bloody good steak I always owed you. Our last London experience together was dinner at Carluccio's where I was given food poisoning- yuck!

Here's some pics of us being stupid in my third year uni house, that night I may have made you roasted peppers which weren't quite roasted enough- crunchy peppers and brown rice (your fave, haa haa...)

You won though, you brought sticky toffee pudding for dessert.

Chow! (forever will I spell that word that way)

your daughter xxx

The song my sister played and it depressed me

But I kinda love it

OCD

I think my job has encouraged this side of me to come out.

We need order!

One of the worst things is if you offer a spoon of something (usually food, yogurt or dessert e.t.c.) to someone (likely bf or gf) to try, and they don't eat the spoon clean! I don't want your mouth leftovers!

Notting Hill night

'After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.'

Tricks are for all of us

Some nice tips to help improve the day, your life. Feel awesommmmme!

1. Wash your hands and face, and brush your teeth. – The simple act of cleaning these parts of your body is both reinvigorating and relaxing, and gives you that ‘fresh start’ feeling.
   
2. Change your socks for refreshment. – It’s an odd trick, but it works.  Bring a change of socks to work, and change your socks midway through the day.  You’ll be amazed at how much fresher you’ll feel.  This trick is especially handy on days with lots of walking.
   
3. Call a close friend. – Sometimes a quick conversation with someone you care about is just what you need to boost your mood. Am trying to do this more instead of hiding away!
   
4. Stretch. – When you feel yourself getting stressed, get up, reach toward the sky, bend down and touch your toes, twist your torso from side to side – stretch it out. Whether it's in the work toilets or just as I wake up in the morning, this tip is gooood.
   
5. Go outdoors. – Getting some fresh air outdoors is always a good way to rouse your senses and clear your mind. Even if it's just popping out for milk or a cheeky kit kat in your lunch break (get out of the office!)
   
6. Take a light exercise break. – Do a few sets of jumping jacks to get your blood moving, or take a walk.  Even the slightest bit of exercise can reduce momentary stress and re-energize your mind.  (Read The 4-Hour Body.) Walking to M&S Moorgate to get weekly bananas, nose at shoes and stare at some over priced fruit.
   
   
   
7. Dress to feel your best. – When we know we are looking our best, we naturally feel better. Am trying to do this more everyday instead of leaving the house thinking 'this outfit will do'.
   
8. Listen to your favorite music. – If it’s not too much of a distraction, listening to your favorite upbeat music can be a great way to boost your spirits. ALWAYS!!! I couldn't live without music.
   
9. Watch or read something that inspires you. – Sometimes all you need is a little pep talk.  Watch a motivational video or read something that inspires you. Blogs blogs blogs!
   
10. Have a good laugh. – Watch a funny video clip or read your favorite comic strip.  A good chuckle will stimulate your mind, giving you a renewed sense of optimism. Scanning through old and recent photos :)
    
11. Take a few really deep, controlled breaths. – Deep breathing helps reduce stress, a source of fatigue, and increases the level of oxygen in the blood.  Techniques can be as simple as inhaling for five seconds, holding your breath for four seconds and exhaling for four seconds.  You can also try more elaborate techniques which require different positions.
    
12. Clear your stuffed nose. – If allergies have your sinuses blocked, you may be feeling more tired and cranky.  Rinse your nasal passages with saline solution.
    
13. Cook a tasty meal. – Even if you are by yourself, preparing a tasty dinner, setting the table, and treating yourself to a wonderful culinary experience will lift your spirits.  Sharing it with someone you love or respect will make it even more nurturing. Eating for pleasure and not for comfort.
    
14. Walk away from energy vampires. – Energy vampires are people who always have something to complain about, or a problem that needs to be fixed, and they’ll drain your energy by making you listen to them about their problems or by giving them attention.
    
15. Complete an important piece of unfinished business. – Today is a perfect day to finish what you started.  Few feelings are more satisfying than the one you get after an old burden has been lifted off of your shoulders.  (Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)
    
16. Work on something that’s meaningful to you. – Engage yourself in a meaningful personal project.  Or pull the trigger on doing something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t yet had the resolve to do.
    
17. Assist someone in need. – In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you, something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less.  I promise, it will be an extremely rewarding experience.
    
18. Think about your latest (or greatest) success. – Think about it for at least sixty seconds.  Taking in your success as often as possible will help you reach it again and again.  Quite simply, it reminds you that if you’ve done it before, you can do it again.
    
19. Act like today is already an awesome day. – Do so, and it will be.  Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences.
    
20. Notice what’s right. – Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad.  It just depends on your perspective.  And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should.  Either you succeed or you learn something.  So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest.  (Read How Full Is Your Bucket?)
    
21. Take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come.

You can't hurry love

A conversation they once had

I hate the need for companionship. I don't get the human race.

This love stuff is a pain in the ass.

--

Love is always in bloom honey. That's the real problem.

--

But I'm not a bee, can't be buzzing around love all the time. It's tiring.

WINTER!

--

 ...feelings will only truly die when you find love with another. That's how it works.

--

urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

What am I meant to do until then. I don't want to eat my feelings. Get drunk and have a series of headaches?

I need to do this healthily.

Chew my arm? Re-vamp my wardrobe? Surround myself with company?
 

Why is being a frustrated person the only consistent thing in my life.

Bahh. Bridget Jones.
--

I slept around until I found love. Worked for me. Might not for you. Might though...
--

Ghost.

Endearments

He has some work, he makes a coffee. Warm the milk, coffee then hot water.

He walks back to his desk and places the mug on the electric warming coaster he has plugged into the socket.

He leans back, research in hand and a sniff of the nose. Sometimes there is cake.

He sips, he reads. It's simple comforts after all.

Note for today, note for tomorrow

Shin splint getting better

Here's looking at you

and I come across this on my street. A mirror.

That nice heavy smiley face feeling. After work drinks.

Anyways...you come home after a shaky ride on the tube and remind yourself that nothing really matters.

 

 

Tube sock

Today there was a single black sock on the tube platform as I got out at Moorgate station.

Thought you all might like to know.

Trying

Because ironically, depression is not a solipsistic disease; it is not a self-inflicted gunshot but, rather, a bomb detonated in the middle of a family function or, in my case, a very quiet explosion as I read my second set of vows, as I wondered if it was happening again, as I knew everyone in the room was about to be wiped out by my disease — they just didn’t know it at the time...

Post-major-depression trauma resulting in chronic a-holery. I’m certain I’ve discovered a new wrinkle to the treatment of depression. Because after the storm subsides, after the wolves slink away sated and ready for sleep, after the antidepressants circulate in my blood, blunting the blows, it’s a challenge to look outward again, to remember that it isn’t all about you, to again understand the connection between all people. But I try. I try.

Vagabond

Karaoke choke

Drippy problem

Homemade peanut butter, this has just solved my dilemma buying shop bought 'i'm filled with other things you don't need' peanut butter.

Wahoo!

Scatter

Might have to do this, when one day, I have my own home.

Imagine coming home to a glowy drive way. Amazing! I could always stick this stuff to the outside of the house as well- glow home!!!

Reminds me of Yoyoi Kasama, I saw her exhibition in the Tate.

Mmmm infinite colours

Glow room!

kapowwwww...

A few more things I'll always do and be

12. Get spaced out all of a sudden
13. Burn rice
14. Suffering with food babies
15. Be 'fiercely' independent, but deep down I really enjoy being looked after
16. Be conscious of nutrition
17. Pull stupid faces at myself in the mirror
18. Be diplomatic...
19. and also be stubborn
20. Sum up personality traits using poor grammar in hope to seem witty

11 things I'll always do and be

1. Miss one item of washing up (pay attention!)
2. Buy too much food shopping and wreck my arms carrying it home
3. Sing in the shower
4. Multi-tasker
5. Never ever get my fashion sense or shoes quite right (or could this be my answer!?)
6. Think and talk out loud (sorry work...)
7. Have outbursts of sounds, whether you like it or not
8. Be scared of spider's legs
9. Play music all the time and perhaps it will be 'too loud' for some people
10. Have a sweet tooth
11. (this is a newish one) Take pictures of myself when I'm feeling good, because when I was a teen I avoided the camera like the plague- I hated seeing myself. Now I make the effort to take pictures in the moments I'm feeling well. If you can't have that- what have you got to remind yourself when things were finnneeee and dandy.

Trusting men's sperm

No sane woman would trust a man to take a contraceptive, they can't even remember to put the loo seat down.

Control your womb!

Friday morning London SUN!

Morning everyone! I've just woken up from a much needed lie in ( or recuperation you could say).

My step sis is staying with me at the moment, so we are off to explore some of my fave places I think she would like- today it's Spitalfields market, in search of the legendary brownies the 'slab stall' sells!

Enjoy the day, sun and sing along to this- it's been in my head all week!

 A big emotional fat one. Time for breakfast!

Knuckle sandwhich

I heard something by this artist recently in Cafe 1001. I can't hear what this clip sounds like, woes of being in work and blogging. Anyways, I'm hoping this is what I heard because it was amazingggggg.

Could always be this one too.

I couldn't help

Borough Starbucks man 24-5-12

He wore the same, white shirt and beige jacket.

Today, his jacket was placed on the back of the chair across the table. It's a warm morning.


Next update, Monday 28th May.

'Neets'

Very interesting article from The BBC:

'The Work Foundation says more than 450,000 Neets - youngsters not in education, employment or training - have never had a regular job... too many youngsters in this Neet category lack soft skills - such as "communication, team working and customer service" - to get a start in such jobs.'

I'm glad this issue has been brought to our attention, a wake up call at least:

'We know that if young people haven't got on to the first rung of the job ladder by 24, they will suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives'

I moved to London from Wales, and the people here 'work' a little quicker in the mind set- you could say. I'm sure it depends what working industry you're in and without trying to sound like a snob-there's a clear difference in attitude and pace. You have to be on the ball, think outside of the box and motivate yourself:

'"Many Neet young people face a Catch-22. They don't have the so-called 'soft skills' employers are looking for, but often the only opportunity to learn those skills is on the job," he said. '

For me personally, this is scary! Looking at the image below, areas common in 'Neet's' are those I've grown up in and where family and friends are situated. Sometimes I think I'm too harsh in how I think about these areas, but the evidence is there:

We can't assume people from these areas are of lesser intelligence, there are always circumstances which affect opportunities. Though, whether it's a question of mentality or a case of bad luck in trying to find something, I hope attitudes don't follow in the statistic footsteps. Encouragement must continue and opportunities are also created by ourselves.

Curious about you being curious

Big fat nerdy endearment. I like to get to know you, your traits, habits (the cute ones... OK even the weird ones too), your choices, preferences, why you like this that way and why you'd choose this over that.

Just sayin'.

Borough Starbucks man 23-5-12

Window corner seat, wearing light beige jacket- you know, cause it's breezy in the mornings.

Rare buy

£2 deal on Honey nut cornflakes.

Last min breakfast grab today- they taste like pure sugar! A honey AND brown sugar recipe- what are we, bees?

pleh pleh pleh

I forgot to say thank you

Warm cheeks

Toast. Americano. Working from home= more sleep!

Happy Hollie, morning!

Man at Borough Starbucks

The same seat. The same table. The same coffee place.

Man at Borough Starbucks, since February 2012. Would it be weird if I took a picture?

Fashion rips

Soon we are going to have to pay for this look, how stupid fashion can be sometimes.

They should grow in jars

and jars only.

urghh

Breakfast time!

Perfect article to read on a morning when I especially woke early to get some breakfast chill time.

Plus I LOVE breakfast, I even have a song...

"Breakfast time, breakfast time. Won't you have some breakfast of mine!"

At least it's original...

Either way, happy morning coffee and PB seeded bagel everyone. You're lucky I didn't have cereal, then I'd have to sing my cereal song as well...

Neverseconds blog

I think this just shows how amazing the internet is, how great blogging is. Within a click a new idea just pops into your head! Development happens just like that!

Inspiring anyone?

Friday for Hinesy

Today there's been a few things:

To start, I woke myself up by bumping the head on the corner of the table- the thought of the sound is still making me laugh now!

The man used I used to observe in Borough Starbucks no longer wears his red winter jumper, yet remains in his favourite seat, window side and furthest position away from the door.

An analyst at work adopted a Giraffe at Marwell Zoo for his daughters Christmas present. Amazing. They are going to visit it this weekend.

It's sunny, and it will be sunny over the whole weekend in London.

Tonight I'm catching up with lovely friends. mmmmmm.


Can't wait to get this corporate clothing off and be.

Wahoo, enjoy your Friday!

I follow a few 'quirky' blogs

and it still grosses me out that they refer to 'God' for inspiration.

oh dear.


Hands up, It's just not for me.

Monkey bread

How amazing does this look!

Not only is it a yummy sweet 'bread', but it has cinnamon in it and it's named 'monkey'.

Nom nom nom. Must have patience and attention span to make this. Also, might try adding icing to it to create a similar delight to what Starbucks sell (a rare good thing that they sell)

mmm

Some of the great things I've read today

And now I'm ready to start the day and also meet up with a life long friend :)


Have a good bank holiday weekend everyone! BREAKFAST TIME!!!

3. Make your bed — it makes the entire room look cleaner.

4. Write out a list by hand. Google may have invented every list-making tool on the planet, but writing it down commits it to memory — and, contrary to popular belief, not every place has internet.

8. Don’t feel the need to fill gaps of silence with blathering comments. That makes you sound like an idiot.

9. Visit one random blog (or five) a day that makes you happy and gives you the motivation to get through the day. If you like food, go check out photos on Tastespotting. If you like to transport yourself into other people’s heads, visit Pinterest. If you like doing fun activities, visit Soul Pancake. There’s something for everyone.

10. Realize when it’s not working out and move on — apply that to whatever situation you wish.

11. If you feel it, do it. The only thing you will lose is the what-if’s because you didn’t try.

12. Sometimes you need to cry. While crying alone is fine, the best cries seem to come when someone else coaxes them out of you by telling you the truth about a circumstance in your life. The tears come, the weight lifts, and then you can fix it.

13. If you can’t make it to something, be honest and say why. I’d rather hear someone be honest and say “I hate that place,” or “I have no money,” than “Can’t — sorry!”(May be we should work on saying 'actually, I just don't fancy doing that')


15. Get your stuff together the night before. Make sure your clothes are clean, your keys are in your bag, and you have your lunch. More mistakes can be made and items forgotten (and repercussions felt) in the 15-minute rush it takes to get out of the door than in an entire day.

16. One day a week, walk to your destination instead of ride. Guess who just got their exercise in?


17. Curb impulse buying and go grocery shopping once a week. Knowing you have at least a loaf of bread, a box of cereal, a frozen dinner, a dozen eggs, pasta, and a can of soup in your fridge can save you from thinking “What’s for dinner?” and ordering $25 takeout.

23. Slow down. The minute you realize — as clichéd as it is — that life really is a journey and not a marathon, the better off you’ll be.

26. Ask for help. Knowing that someone you trust has your back and is looking out for your best interest creates calm for your brain.

27. Whatever it is, just do it.

Toned

I LOVE feeling toned and awesome and fit again!

I like to wake up in the morning and look at my abs, I know it's slightly, errrm, self obsessed... could you say?! But I'm proud to have kept my running going for a month now- I've been saying I'd run longer routes like this for over a year!

Anyways, here are some mildy embarrassing shots of me as I was in my first running week- clearly took these on a case of endorphin rush!

 "ohh yeahh, I'm like soooo gonna run..."

Post run, sweaty and looking a bit greeb...ha!

One of the best parts of running is that I get to tie my hair up like a pineapple so it can flop about in the wind!

Strange you could say, but it's nice posting these pics knowing I've toned up a bit more since and my stamina really has improved. Over the last year I've gone up by a stone, down a stone, up by 8 pounds, down 5 more. I think my body became tired with my inconsistent eating patterns, all endured by the comfort eating monster stuck in my head and I LOVE food, it's hard to find something I don't like!

I think it's important that exercise shouldn't always be associated with weight loss, and that toning could be a healthier word to associate. I've lost a couple of pounds and in the first two weeks I cut out obvious sugars- bars of chocolate, cake, biscuits e.t.c because I have the Hines sweet tooth and it felt like a good challenge. The thing is, there was never a point when I wasn't eating, I ate all the time- just it was healthy stuff! I'm so sick of reading about cereal diets and dieting and being so hungry "alll the time". Clearly you aren't doing it right if you are hungry all the time, you are just starving your body! As a result and by instinct the body will just retain onto all the fat (it might be something to do with insulin levels why, and then in the long run eventually burn off healthy muscle instead) NOT good.

Ok so rant over... if you have that part of you to pinch which makes you unhappy, just think TONING.

and if you need a little healthy inspiration check out these blogs as well:

http://ohsheglows.com/
http://www.edibleperspective.com/
http://www.fitfoodiefinds.com/   (the one who introduced me to overnight oats mmmmm) !

enjoy!

amen

'But for now, I realize I am 100% content with being alone, mostly likely because I’ve spent most of my life not alone: I’ve been in back-to-back relationships since I was 13, with only a few weeks or months in between. It’s kind of scary, really. It’s like I started dating and just never stopped, and it only recently occurred to me how insane this was this past New Year’s when I found myself at the club, at midnight, in the middle of a horde of kissing couples, totally and completely single on New Year’s Eve for the first time in ten years. Scary and exhilarating, like I had I had grown a new set of limbs.

what being single by choice has made me realize is that being in a relationship shouldn’t be something you need; it should be something you want. It should come from the desire to share an experience rather than the desire to be completed. You have to feel secure in yourself before you bond with someone else or it won’t work. So, because I still have a lot of work to do on myself before I’m ready to share, I will spare you interested ladies the heartbreak (heh) and remain cheerfully single until then.'

Eat your face

Cake. Queen. Simple?

Impulse

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and now i'm deaf and restless. right...

Pick up the phone!

Goddamit!

I know some people who prefer to call than text. I know some who are too afraid to call and would rather text.

I've got to be honest, my harsh nature would call them pussys.

No wonder people end up feeling less special and appreciated when we can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and speak, just because 'texting is easier'.

We have even worked ourselves into the habit of email. Though, I think the lesson speaks for itself when face to face communication, meetings and phonecalls end up getting more work done than using the latter. Enthusiasm comes across so much clearer through tone of voice instead of endless !!! :) ;) :( or grrrrr arrrrghhhh urhhhhhh's.

Lets not shoot ourselves in the foot. There was a time where wrds wdn't luk lik dis.

Ouch

'Elizabeth Wurtzel, a writer from our generation, used a metaphor that she borrowed from Hemingway. Being insane, she said, was like Hemingway’s description of going bankrupt. In Hemingway’s novel The Sun Also Rises, a man is asked how he lost all his money. “…Two ways,” the man replies, “Gradually, and then suddenly.” That’s how it happened for me. I lost everything all at once, but it had taken years to get there.'

Kind'a cute

Don't lie, we all do it. It's like a third person.

I read this and thought of all the souls I'm missing out there. Read that as you wish.


'Talk to your Soul.

That’s right, just talk to It.

Start asking your Soul questions. You can simply say, “Hi, Soul. What’s your name?” And wait for your answer to come to you intuitively. It may not come to you immediately, but it will come to you, alright.

You can say, “Hey Soul, I need some assistance here. Can you please help me figure this out?” Your help will be on the way, I guarantee it.

You might also say, “I don’t know how to do this, Soul! Will you please do this for me?” Sometimes you can just put things right into your Soul’s capable hands. I do it all the time!

Your Soul is God. It’s a piece of God within you. When you connect with your Soul, there’s a heck of a lot of power that comes along with that.

Guess what else? Your Soul actually wants to connect with you. It wants to be known! It wants you to talk to it and ask it for help. It very much wants to be a part of your life.

And here’s the bonus (at least it was for me): Your Soul is not going to hold you to a strict meditation practice in order to be in a relationship with you. You can be a non-meditator and also be completely soulful.

Try this and see for yourself. It’s utterly mind-blowing, really. Once you get hooked, you’ll never turn back.

As for all those other health benefits you might miss out on by not meditating? Well, for that, I’m relying on green juice.'

You're not alone in this

You have cancer, but can't have the right treatment

This makes me SO angry- people can't be restricted to treatment types based on the location they live!

It's disgusting.

OK

I suppose I am that dick who wants to tell everyone that everything will be ok. Because it has to be, doesn't it? Even if we don't believe it at the time, there's a new side to everything.

Love and writing

This story just sums up the beautiful amazing wow, that the words we write can provide.

mmm bop! Time for breakfast

Fuzzy

Nice way to start the mornin', pulling off the mould from your bread...

Jam, PB, Honey. Done.

:)

Whip ma haaairrrrr

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday everyone!

I hope your weekend is going to be a great one- mine has already started well, I've been paid and received a nice 'Big' coffee from 'Eat' for free (!) from Monica :) Thank you!

As good/bad as it is, coffee is one of the few things which can zap my brain back into shape when I'm feeling a little urghnaaahhhh. Bad, because it inhibits iron absorption- but my tablets seem to be helping well with that!

Anyways, I'm sure there are more interesting things to talk about other than my nutrition skype (yes, I just used a product name as a phrase!).


Today work will finish at three, and at five I shall begin to celebrate my good friend Matt's (poo face) birthday! A friend of mine sent me a picture of a card from Urban Outfitters which would go well with Matt's personality... and face...

I'm not a huge card buying person, so if Matt reads this he can see my affections through a blog post.

Later, we will be at Browns in Bank to start the fiasco. This place is a favourite of mine and they do the best fishcakes I've ever had (not sure if that says more about the fishcakes I've had, or the latter). This place holds a few memories for me too- a few dinners with friends and a nice catch up with my cousin. The service is good, and here I fell in love with a waitress because she served well and actually made me want to tip her (I hate tipping). Sometimes places have service charge included- but at least with this you can guarantee a smile and food which arrives on time- instead of careless staff with no sense of humour.


This week I've also been running, Wednesday I felt sooo chuffed completing 6miles when I intended to do 5.4. I'm near my goal, so I can start running home instead of traveling for a near hour, and then running for an hour, shower, food, sleep!

Saturday holds another birthday celebration for my friends Fry and Beth. Fry, does look a bit like Fry from Futurama. Ruggers and booze sounds fun, will be great to see my friend play, I'm already craving a pint...

May will be jam packed with lots of visiting friends and family- April has gone so fast already, even in work I've been speaking and referring to published research which felt like yesterday, when in fact it was two weeks ago!


Work is going really well- the people there make me roll my eyes as much as laugh, and I'm learning more as we go through which is sooooooooo nice. Hopefully proof reading will take off soon and I'll be up to scratch with the lingo in financial research (I'm in publishing). Whether you are interesting in it or not, it's amazing what you can pick up by glancing over this stuff everyday. I hope to work myself hard for many more years- who knows, by the time I'm wrinkly I will chill a bit more and open my own bakery- I have a name in mind already. :)


This post has been a bit of a reel off, my fault for not posting during the week! I tend to post less if I'm feeling crappy, though sometimes I post less because I'm having too much fun and can't concentrate! haha, either way I'm doing ok.

CHOW!

I hear ya

A cute blog I follow, on a lady who allowed herself a day :)

'I also discovered I was perfectly content to spend my free day by myself. (Save for an hour or so with two 18 month olds.) I don’t know if it’s my out-of-control anxiety mixed with my already introverted tendencies, but I have no desire to be around people lately. And when I am, I’m very quiet. I am happiest in the silence of my front yard in the mornings, or locked up in my bathroom with a book and a bubble bath at night. I’m trying not to dwell too much on this “I need to be alone” part of my life and I’m just embracing the fact that I need all this down time to let myself sort out my thoughts.'

Fascinating and heartbreaking

North Korea defect.

We all should count ourselves lucky. Stuff like this might make you bitch and moan than necessary.

Skinny flat white

In the coffee shop this morning, a young guy ordered a skinny flat white. In my 6am madness, I had to stop myself saying out loud 'ohh, he's a skinny one' as if I'm some Hines breed of parrot.

In fairness, my outburst would have matched his slender frame...

Chocolate face

Sometimes, it's nice to get up real early, work early and leave.

Come home, crack open a chocolate egg, hot water bottle, bed and a TV show.


I'm spending less time with my headphones now and it's a good thing. It seems there is less noise to block out.




I now have sugar teeth from my 1000 calorie dinner (yes, Easter eggs really are that much). I haven't had a chocolate egg that good in years- probably because I've always bought my own and this one I didn't.

I am so very grateful it was a gift :) Perhaps Easter eggs are just one of those childhood favourite moments of mine. I remember once mum set up an Easter egg hunt in the house. She left notes for my brother and I to find our treats whilst her and dad remained in bed. She even lay bowls and Frosties out on the table for breakfast, I know she'd sneak downstairs before we woke to put out fresh milk.

They always wore dressing gowns and we always wore slippers.

One note said 'Follow your nose' with a picture of a sock drawn on. I even remember walking around the kitchen with my brother, sniffing the air for chocolate (or cheese?) - we kept the washing basket under the counter. For us, it was like Christmas day. Our parents made it magical.

"why are you sleeping?!"

Wake up.

Head adjusts... 'oh i'm horizontal and that dream wasn't real'

Time? 7.36am

Phew, a natural wake up today- should be ready for 5am start tomorrow.

Sun, birds (techno bird is about- the best one)

I tweet along with cup of tea in hand, scanning endless internet pages for research, inspiration (reading the news & blogs now seems like some sort of artistic gump)

Tummy rumbles and I start to imagine what to have for my favourite meal of the day.

and this. is. heaven.

'After all, it’s just touch.'

'Something happens. Maybe you graduated college and lost your strong network of friends. Finding a relationship is harder now. You actually have to work at it whereas before it usually just fell into your lap. You’re no longer guaranteed to meet new people. Your life isn’t as open as it used to be. Working to be social. What a strange concept.

Float through the days. Watch yourself become more and more locked up. Flinch when someone brushes your shoulder on the street and marvel at what you’ve been reduced to. You’re someone who once had amazing sex and been in love and now you’re getting your breath taken away by a passing stranger. How does one get to this point? Is it possible to find your way back? Is it possible to have a healthy amount of sex again and not give a crap if someone brushes your body at a bar. After all, it’s just touch.

Yes, you can. You can meet the love of your life. You can meet them in a bookstore, in a coffee shop, at a party, at a bar, through friends of friends, on the Internet, whatever. The trick to finding this person though is to never resign yourself. Never let the lonely days swallow you up, never accept that you’ll just be one of those people who doesn’t get to be loved. Because the second you start believing it, it can become true. That’s the scary part. How quickly days can turn into years. Just like that. I’ve always said that the whole “love comes to those who aren’t expecting it” is BS. Who ISN’T expecting love? I didn’t expect love for two solid years and guess where it got me? Celibacy. You should always expect to be loved, you should always expect to find somebody to love because if you don’t, you do get your worst fears confirmed and then you’re a goner. Then you’re denying yourself what you deserve. What you can certainly have.'

Readership

I think I've figured out why writing on here is so easy- writing about anything, without much hesitation...

The readers are real, but the faces remain annonamous.

Caramel bear & Brown girl

I remember queueing up for a theme park ride as a kid, and the boy in front of me said I should 'go back to my own country, go back to China'.

He was so wrong.

It's interesting how people have thought my brother had a different Dad to me- because his skin tone is so much lighter than mine.

I grew up being the more 'tanned' one, and not seeing it any different to my friends. I think it took for me to move to London a year ago, somewhere so multi-cultural (if you like that phrase), for background and skin tone to be a subject of interest and where it was pointed out in a positive way.

And even then, we still experience racial bias from our peers. I do my best to point out the ignorant assumptions- most of the time, they link with safety.

This article hits home a little, specifying in the representation of race in video media.

I don't watch enough television to comment, yet I think it shows enough impact our 'colour' plays into representing who we really are.

How coffee is meant to be (yerr, pillocks...)

"It's not what you do it's the way that you do it!"

This is a post tribute to my life long southern friend who whips up these beauties every day, and does it nice and tasty. Barristers in London are Jeffs (fucks).

"ahhh, I'm an arrrtist"

Morning all!

I have had the best Saturday, and am now waking up slowly with a cup of tea and the sound of pigeons cooing!

How was your weekend?

Before I crack on with breakfast (my favourite meal of the day!) I must tell you about a brilliant Saturday out in Camden! It was the perfect weather to wear my new velvet blazer, I picked it up last week for a bargin of £10, at Spitalfields market. I also straightened my hair, which a year ago would have been a huge no no; however now I'm less iron deficient (even my nails are growing long-pow!), I gave it a try and it was very fun feeling like how I did a couple of years back-good!

Messy floor!

I hadn't been to Camden Market for about a year and up until then I hadn't been overly amazed by it- until yesterday! Once we got there, we made our way through the busy (but bearable) street up to the markets. There were sooo many stalls selling various kinds of food: Turkish, British (fish and chips! pies), Chinese, Indian, Caribbean food and many more-it was great, I know If my step dad and sis were there with me-they would have loved it! There was even a cake stand selling slabs of cake and wicked smelling apple and cinnamon hot drinks!

Joe started with a mix of chinese- Teriaki chicken, green chicken curry, rice and nooodles! You can get a brilliant sized portion for £5, and If you can put on a charm always try to haggle for that extra spring roll! I had no idea what to eat, so I waited and took my time choosing cake instead-red velvet! (chocolate cake dyed red with awesome icing on top-it's all about the icing!) After tasting Joe's food and balancing it with a little sweet cake, I decided to buy my own chinese mix of yum. We shared all of the food and headed off to the markets.

As we made our way through people and narrow lanes, I bought a coffee made from Ethiopian beans. I'm a big coffee person and over the last year I have grown to know just how I like it. I suppose it's a win/loose situation, if I'm handed a coffee, I walk away, sip and recently have been left reeling that the coffee tastes bitter and a cappa c just doesn't have enough foam. This one tasted better then the few I've had this week- a semi skimmed cappa c, but it had no foam (take away cups always ruin the foam potential) and I couldn't find that coffee punch (I've been having 'issues' with coffee all week in London city, clearly I needed to get this off my chest!).

Once the coffee was half drank, we popped into the brilliant Cyber Dog. I was very glad to see the dancers had come back, perched on their own personal balconies- a shop blasting dance music, anything fluorescent and selling the perfect utilities for a good rave. If you go, always check out the music that's playing- they leave a CD on the side so you can take a look. I usually go in and don't find anything I'd want to wear, as most of it you'd wear if you wanted to look like a colourful platform boot goth-however they have added a few things for women which could be pulled off as 'casual'. The 'room downstairs', which you can find if you make your way through the tunnels of clothes suited for guys, girls and even kids, featured a pole dancer in platform heels and fishnets-I'm sure you can guess what's sold downstairs!

After cyber dog, it became all about exploring the shops. Me and Joe bumped into a 50s dress shop and I fell in love, it's an outfit i've always fancied buying. Though they didn't have my size, it was fun to try things on and get an idea for the future purchase! We searched through more shops and laughed over old vintage outfits-Joe particularly liked the retro trainers and seeing me try on oversized mens coats! I managed to get a couple of bargins and came home very pleased!! (pictures to follow!)

An interesting image I found on the bridge (going to send it to my Nana!) 

Camden!

If you live North West, It's so easy to get a bus home (or to) Camden-so we jumped on the bus to Kilburn, back to Joe's place. Do ever find it satisfying when your heading home and as you are 10 seconds away from your bus stop, you can see your bus coming towards you in the near distance?! Winner! Double decker top floor, front seats are perfect for taking in the sun.

After giving a quick lesson on hanging wet laundry (HA!...) we made chicken caesar salad and scoffed it down with red wine (yes, a supermarket stylee bottle- sorry, inside joke...you know who you are!)

It must have been around 10pm, where we made our way to The Black Lion. A beautiful pub with high ceilings and hanging lampshades, we had surprise cocktails-they became a surprise because they had ran out of beer or 'anything decent' as the barman put it. I think I like it when barmen give opinions on particular drinks without you having to ask, I appreciate their blunt guidance...

I have no idea what the name was for my cocktail-raspberries, gin, elderflower and something else! Joe ordered a 'Alexander' and for round two I had a Bourbon Blush-strawberries and jim bean. Joe had something which had a liquor in it which was called 'gum'.

Apologies for my teenage-esque writing. I've woken up still buzzing from a great night. As we got home, us 20 somethings had a war of nerf guns and I experimented with my hair- I'm well chuffed how much longer it is!

A variety of styles!

I have a good aim

Blimey, it took me a long time to upload my post and now breakfast will be more like lunch.

Have a great Sunday!